Dysfunctional
by enoMAXX
Summary: Sakura is confused and trying to figure things out in her head as her depression consumes her social life. Her team really had problems. And Sakura needed Kakashi to help her figure them out. SakuKaka and slight NaruSasu.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters.

I'm kinda nervous about posting this so please be nice!

* * *

Sakura's fingers dug into the wooden counter top of the table as Ino continued chatting on about her upcoming mission with Shikamaru and Choji. Her thoughts were consumed with Naruto, Sasuke and Kakashi. The whole team dynamic had shifted very uncomfortably since Sasuke had literally been dragged back by Naruto holding onto his foot and a very large gash in his stomach. The bastard deserved it. And Sakura figured that was part of the problem, that Sasuke had hurt her so bad that she refused to forgive him. She couldn't stand to go on missions with him as she was always watching him expecting a kunai in her back, or to her throat to escape them. Granted Tsunade had kept his missions close to the village, but he was slowly expanding the distance between him and the village. Sakura knew he wouldn't be here long and there was nothing anyone on team 7 could do to stop it.

Sakura abruptly stood up jostling the tea cup and making Ino flash her a worried look. "Sakura are you okay?" Ino wasn't stupid, she knew. She knew all too well that Sakura was being torn to pieces inside because she could do nothing about Sasuke, and Naruto now devoted every ounce of free time on him. And Kakashi, Kakashi was never there to train with, or talk to or just _be_ with. They were an ever present force in her mind.

"I'm… I'm just tired Ino. I'm going to head home and take a bath." She sighed heavily and felt guilty at leaving Ino alone again. She had been doing that a lot lately, neglecting her other friends because she was too caught up in being estranged from her team. The ding of the door was irritating as she thrust it open and stepped out into the heat of the afternoon. Sakura wanted to cry at all the emotions mixing inside her. Anger at Sasuke for not caring, anger at Naruto for following him around like a puppy, and anger at Kakashi for simply not being around. But below the anger was something much darker that Sakura did not want to analyze. She stubbed her toe on a rock, let loose a scream picked up said rock and hurled it in a random direction. Sakura realized too late that what she had done was completely inappropriate and watched in horror as the rock hurtled toward a fish stall.

Sakura gasped slightly as the rock was slapped away by a gloved hand. Kakashi. He simply looked over his shoulder at her. "Yo." He said quietly. Sakura was suddenly reminded again that she was a failure in every way. She couldn't even keep her temper in check over a stupid rock on the stupid street. She turned from him quickly to wipe at the sudden tears that were spilling down her face. "Sakura, are you-"

"Don't." Sakura said quickly. "If one more person wants to ask me if I'm okay when I clearly _am not_ I will go on a rampage far worse than any tailed beast ever could. Even if I'm not as smart and strong as Naruto and Sasuke, I can be a force to be reckoned with too! And-"

"Sakura. You need to calm down, you are very strong and you almost took out an innocent man's stall because you stubbed your toe." Damn Kakashi and his condescending tone. Damn him for making her feel like a child throwing a fit. What did he care anyway? He had been very absent lately that she doubted he even knew that she was secluding herself from everyone in the village. "How about we call up the boys and head down to the training grounds to brush up on some formations for our mission."

Sakura felt her chest clench. Of course all he thought about was making sure the team was in synch and all because she was upset. Sakura turned around and leveled her gaze to his only visible eye. "Kakashi… I think I should avoid missions with the team." Sakura saw the slight widening of his eye as he stared back at her. "I mean I'm a Jonin now… I think that maybe I should find another team where I can be of more use."

Kakashi nodded slowly. "We have a mission to report to in the morning, have you already talked to the Hokage about-"

"No. I don't plan on ditching a mission I've already been assigned to. I'll talk to Tsunade-shishou when we return. Will we be meeting at the usual time this afternoon?" Sakura turned her back to him and was already beginning to walk away. Knowing that the rest of them would be on time and Kakashi would stroll in an hour and a half late and tell them good job. She just didn't want to be around him right now. She didn't want to be around any of them. It just hurt too much.

Sakura was the first to arrive at the training grounds, again. It also didn't surprise her when Naruto and Sasuke showed up together about twenty minutes later. Naruto leaned heavily against the fence next to her. They had all had their little test for becoming Jonin. Sakura was the only one who had passed, and she was very much looking forward to them congratulating her and finally acknowledging what a valuable asset she was to the team. That was what she had hoped for, and then Naruto had opened his mouth.

"I can't believe that _you _passed to Jonin and me and Sasuke are still stuck at Chunin. I think I more than deserve it! And so does Sasuke. I mean hell he took down Itachi and most of Akatsuki with me and I'm the one who brought us both back alive. By all rights that alone should have promoted us. They keep sending us on little missions to! We have shown more than enough that we can handle anything that we come up across." Naruto ranted to his pink haired friend. Sakura felt her eye twitch.

"Well obviously its because Sasuke is a traitor and has yet to be trusted with any missions other than getting cats out of trees and you!" She pushed herself off the fence to face him and plant her hands on her hips. "Naruto you can't complete any mission without blowing something up or running off to chase rouge nin! Neither of you can be trusted to anything important!" Naruto looked slightly shocked at her outburst. Sasuke was simply observing her out of the corner of his eye.

"Sakura-chan I'm sorry I'm just tired of getting small missions that aren't worth my time." And that was all the attention that she got as Naruto turned to Sasuke to try and get him to do anything else and ignore the girl next to him. "So Sasuke do you want to spar with me?"

"Hn," Was his soft reply as he stepped forward to take a stance a few feet away from Naruto. "Just taijutsu." And then they were fighting.

Sakura sighed to herself. Being ignored was so common lately that she had simply learned to accept it. But it hurt that she didn't even get a single word of congratulations. She had worked hard, harder than Naruto and Sasuke had as they were naturally more gifted ninja but she had studiously pushed her limits until she was at the point she was now. Sakura knew she could push them even more. All the years of being left behind by the rest of team seven forced her to be a better ninja than the rest of the ones their age. Sakura had fought hard against Sasori and had gotten similar acknowledgement of Naruto topping her story with how he had killed his four Akatsuki members.

She understood all too well that she was the weakest link in her team. Which was why she had slaved away all those years that Sasuke had been gone, which was easier than worrying about all of them with the approaching war. But now that the threat of war was gone and the village had returned to some semblance of normal, Sakura just felt pushed out. She was the best medic in the village, but Tsunade-shishou never gave her any special treatment, if anything she just gave her more work. Which she acknowledged as she was the most qualified for such work. Ino would never say anything that even suggested Sakura was better than her in any way. And now her best friends couldn't even say great job? It hurt Sakura somewhere in her chest. She felt the tingle in her eyes and knew she had to go.

"Well I'm going over a training ground to work on my own." She said to the two boys. They were so busy fighting each other they didn't even notice her leave.

Sakura was crying before she even left their presence.

.

As she sauntered into the clearing of the trees on the training ground next to the one the team usually used, Sakura glanced about the tree line like she had the first time she came here almost eight months ago. It had been a regular training day with team seven when Uchiha Sasuke walked up to her and Naruto, told them Tsunade had finally let him rejoin the team, and began sparring with Naruto because of his attempted hug of excitement. Sakura hadn't known what to think. So she disappeared into the trees and patiently awaited Kakashi. Obviously the boys had forgotten she was there because soon after they were tussling in a heap sending up a cloud of dust. Sakura eyed them suspiciously at how it looked to be a contest of who could pin who. Sasuke had won straddling the other and taunting him in a whisper she hadn't heard. But Naruto being the brilliant one had taken advantage of the situation and knocked Sasuke through a loop and Sakura back behind the tree. He had kissed the boy hovering over him, and Sakura winced at the blow he was going to receive. But it never came, instead Sasuke leaned into it and-

Sakura couldn't watch anymore as she had hurried away. She had headed off trying to digest the new situation and…vent. She had kicked a tree so hard it took out four more trees to stop it, and a huge rock had tumbled into the center. Which she was now climbing onto.

The grounds keepers had fixed it up for the most part but it was still noticeable that in the recent past it had been completely destroyed and patched back together. Sakura didn't mind, it made her feel like it was really her place. Well, for a small amount of time before Kakashi showed up to interrupt her meditation and drag her back to the training ground to actually train. Sakura sat grumpily on her rock and relaxed into an easy cross legged pose. Breathing deeply she had to think about Kakashi. After that first day here he was all she thought about while she sat on the rock.

Eight months ago she had collapsed onto the rock in a fit of angry tears after her slight chakra empowered rampage. At the time it was anger at Sasuke for hurting her and not feeling anything toward her. Not even acknowledgment that she was an equal and forced to be on his team again. Now however she realized it was because she had been weak and naïve about her relationships and how important she really was to everyone.

She was first for no one, and for the first time in her life Sakura had examined her life with a critical eye and wept at all of her faults. Naruto had always put Sasuke before her. Sasuke had always been about revenge and now it seemed, Naruto. Ino and her team were very close as well, even more so after their sensei had been killed in front of them. And then there was Tsunade-shishou, her mentor, her teacher, and for all intents and purposes her boss. Tsunade had been a wonderful teacher but had never really been one who she felt could help her with her personal problems.

Then her mind drifted to her current sensei. Kakashi. Oh yeah because _he_ cared about _her._ She could think of several people that were more important to him than her. Couldn't she? It took her a moment to come up with anything and during her musings she had stopped her tears. That was when she heard the crunch of feet behind her perch.

She tensed and looked over her shoulder, quickly looking away again. However Kakashi had probably already seen her tear soaked face. "Sakura…" Kakashi said nothing more as he stood behind her, his gaze lingering on her back until Sakura couldn't handle it anymore.

She stood up swiftly wiping her face once for good measure, even though she was sure it was still super obvious she had been crying, and swung around to face him. "What?!" She yelled at his calm and laid back form standing about five feet in front of her.

"I was coming to get you to train with us." He stated in a very matter of fact tone. Sakura's shoulders slumped. She didn't have the energy left to deal with his antisocial, antiemotional bullshit. "Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah. I'm great. I have never been better in my life. I'm a very well accomplished nobody who will never mean anything to anyone!" She huffed as she jumped off the rock and started the walk back to the rest of the team. "Sorry, lets go." Sakura hadn't meant for that last bit to sound quite so pathetic.

"Not yet." Kakashi's soft tone made her hesitate. She glanced back at him with a sad look like she was just too exhausted to argue. That was when he stepped forward grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his chest an arm looping around her shoulders. Sakura's eyes widened in shock and despair. She tried to pull away but Kakashi had held her firmly to him. "It's okay Sakura." He whispered gently.

"No… Let me go!" Sakura struggled again putting chakra into her palm and pushing his arm off. He reacted quickly pulling both of her arms forward and around him. He held her more firmly to his body.

"Sakura its okay." He soothed gently in her ear. Her pushing had subsided slightly but she still couldn't give in just yet. She still had her pride. "Sakura… you… mean something… to me."

That comment made her freeze in his arms. She felt the tears on her cheeks before she even realized she was crying again and her hands had made purchase on his back fisting his green vest. Kakashi's hold never faltered for even a second as Sakura cried and held onto him for dear life. After almost five minutes of soaking his front Sakura finally had the thought to think about his comment and her tears lessened to almost nothing except the slight sniffle. What did that mean exactly?

Sakura slowly unclenched her tight fists and her hands rested on his mid back. His arms had settled around her shoulders and down her back. What was she supposed to have done? Because obviously looking up at his face and searching for answers to unknown questions had been difficult seeing as how the only thing she could see was one eye. "Can… can you take down your mask?" her question had been soft, whispered and he stared calmly back into her eyes.

Not receiving an answer her hand slid from his back up his chest and hovered before his face. His eye narrowed slightly, but he hadn't made a move to stop her. Her fingers gently traced along the line of his mask and then down across his cloth covered lips. He still hadn't said anything or reacted at all. Her fingers trailed back up and snagged the edge of the material slowly bringing it down. It wasn't like she had never seen his face before, she had known him for years and as she had grown up it had become less of a mystery and surprise to see his face clear.

He was handsome, she would admit. But never had she been so close that she could examine every line, every detail and yet his face still gave nothing away. His breath was warm and moist on her face. Neither of them moved, just being content to holding and being held, and staring into each others eyes for a moment. And then Kakashi had surprised her as his head tilted ever so slowly to level their faces to one another. Sakura's breath had caught in her throat.

His face was so near to hers and it seemed he was very slowly drawing nearer to her lips. She moved without thought and tilted her face up to meet his, her eyes fluttering closed and her lips puckering in a manner that would have left no one guessing that she expected a kiss. But he stopped a breath away, breathing heavily. "Kaka-sensei…" Sakura had whispered still not opening her eyes, she knew he was right there, almost touching, but then the warmth of his body had suddenly retreated.

Sakura's eyes flew open to look at her teacher but his back was turned and he was already pulling up his mask. "Sakura. If you wish to skip training today I understand." And then he was gone. And Sakura had been left feeling like a bag had been placed over her head and a kunai had been shoved into her chest. She had been crying again only a moment later.

Sakura sighed at her musings. That might have also had something to do with her current state of anger. Ever since that day Kakashi had never allowed himself alone with her unless he was heading here to retrieve her for training. Kakashi had also made it clear that he didn't want to talk in the form of silent walks back to Naruto and Sasuke. The first time she had said anything about that moment to him he had laughed it off and excused himself. And once there was someone else present things were relatively normal. As in he was quiet and she had a distraction.

Out of all the people to have distanced themselves from her Kakashi's sudden absence had been hard to bear. She had always come to him for training, for recommendations, for a shoulder to cry on and now he was just as far away as everyone else. Sakura felt the tears threaten to fall again but she held them back, she was stronger than that, she had to be. She was completely on her own, she was not going to let a little bit of loneliness keep her down. She had enough sorrow consume her in the nights when she was alone in her bed that she should be able to keep herself from crying in the light of day.

The breeze caught her attention and she knew she was being watched. She didn't even glance in the direction of the intruder already knowing it was Kakashi. Strange he was only thirty minutes late today, guess it was time to start training. She opened her eyes and stood turning in the direction of the man leaning casually against a tree. She hopped off the rock and smiled pleasantly at him before heading in the opposite direction toward the other training grounds.

"Congratulations Sakura." He had said it barley loud enough for her to hear and once again in this very clearing she hesitated at his words. She tensed slightly and turned to him smiling sweetly.

"Thank you." She said blushing. "Is that why you're early then?" He pushed himself away from the tree and took several steps toward her but stopping a fair distance away, out of arms reach to be sure.

"I thought it was in order after being the first student of mine to ever match my rank." He said smoothly.

Ah. So it was like that. She only got it because she had actually accomplished something the others hadn't yet and not because he had actually cared about telling her he was proud that she was his student. Go figure. Why would he be proud of a silly Jonin rank when he had Naruto the savior of the village and Sasuke the avenger? They were quite obviously more accomplished than her. Sakura sighed heavily and turned her back to him, it was so much easier to talk to him when he couldn't see the sadness in her eyes, and she couldn't see the nonchalance in his.

"When you said that I meant something to you…" she paused making sure to phrase her question appropriately, "did you just say it to make me feel better, or…" Sakura left the sentence unfinished and her half formed question hung in the air unanswered. The implication was obvious to both of them that his answer was more about if he had really meant to kiss her or not. Did she really even want to know the answer? It could do so many disastrous things to her heart no matter what he would say in resonse. If he said he was only saying it to make her feel better than it meant that he really hadn't been about to kiss her and she had foolishly pushed away her sensei by acting like a hurt child and misunderstanding his actions.

On the other hand if he said he had really meant what he had said then maybe she hadn't been imagining the almost kiss was one sided. It would mean that Kakashi had feelings for her that were more than a normal student-teacher relationship. It would mean the breaking of Sakura's heart to an all new low that she had been alone for the last eight months worrying that it was all her fault. And along with everything else going on with Naruto and Sasuke she had really needed the man. And it was his choice to run away at the site of her and not have anything more than a thirty second conversation.

She felt the anger bubble inside her and she clenched her fists preparing to turn and beat the man into answering her. But Sakura was exhausted. Being depressed was tiring her out a lot lately. Huh, Sakura hadn't yet put a name to her current state of mind but yes she admitted to herself easily, she was utterly depressed. Her shoulders slouched and her body sagged at the release of the sudden tense on her body. She figured she didn't even have the energy to fight him and she certainly wouldn't get a hit in with her sour mood, so what was the point in even trying.

She felt her chest clench at the emptiness. It constricted until she felt physical pain and her eyes were already beginning to moisten. She sighed deeply and forced all thoughts from her mind, settling on gaining her composure. She just wished Kakashi would give her an answer so she wasn't in the dark about her problem. So she could just get closure and move on. But that was probably the most logical answer. He had noticed her going in for a kiss and didn't want to tell her that she didn't mean anything to him and he simply didn't want to hurt her feelings anymore. She could respect that. And the fact that he was steering clear was simply because he was afraid she would make another move on him and he would have to put her down hard to make sure it never happened again. After all he was her teacher since she was young. It was most defiantly inappropriate of her to put him on the spot in such a way.

Sakura smiled and turned to look at the man who was staring off into the sky obviously avoiding Sakura's gaze. "Kaka-sensei. I'm sorry. I'm just going through a tough time right now. I shouldn't be making you feel uncomfortable about something I almost did eight months ago. It was silly of me to have done something so stupid. I promise it will never happen again." Kakashi had simply glanced over to her during her little speech. He sighed and rubbed at his temple closing his eye apparently trying to get rid of a sudden headache. She prayed that this topic could be dropped and never brought up again because she simply couldn't handle the answer anymore, it would rip her apart.

Sakura kept the perfect smile on her face while she fidgeted with her hands behind her back. Well if he wasn't going to say anything than she was going to leave and go straight home curl into bed and cry for a while. Then maybe take a bath and cry some more. She felt there was nothing more she could say to him so she turned and made her way to the edge of the clearing.

"When I first heard who my genin team was to consist of you three I had conflicting feelings." Kakashi was glancing at the sky again and his soft voice was the only sound reverberating through the air. Sakura had to stay and listen, she knew that whatever he said would hurt but she couldn't force herself any further away. "I was honored to teach the jinchuriki, and the last Uchiha in the village. But I was also disappointed because I knew that one day Sasuke would leave, and that Naruto would be very difficult to train. But my biggest disappointment was that I was assigned a nobody girl with no ninja heritage and no skill. I had told the Hokage to switch you out, but he insisted that you remain on my team." Sakura felt tears pour down her cheeks. She couldn't take anymore blows without having a full breakdown right here in front of him. She needed to go.

"If you're just trying to get me to stay away from you say no more, I'm gone." Sakura had started walking away unable to listen to any more information that would debilitate her. She couldn't take anymore harsh truths at the moment. But as of late she seemed to be on a path of great suffering as Kakashi had grabbed her wrist and prevented her from going any further forward. Sakura stilled, refusing to turn and face him as sobs tumbled from her mouth and shook her body. Surely he knew she was upset. Why wouldn't he just let her go? Sakura was losing her grip on what was really going on here and confusion swirled around her making her dizzy and light headed. She wanted to run.

"Just shut up and listen." Kakashi had snapped at her slightly and Sakura was once again sent reeling with what was happening and what could he possibly be about to say to her? Was he going to yell at her? Tell her how much of a failure she was or tell her she didn't even deserve her spot on this team? Was he going to say he didn't care about her at all? But basically all it would really mean is that she was all alone in this world. That not even Kakashi cared for her. She might just die from heartache. "Sakura look at me."

It had not been a request and when she didn't turn herself around Kakashi did. Her arm was held tightly in one of his hands while the other grasped her chin and turned her to face him. She was quite surprised to see his mask down.

"Sakura, I've watched you year after year grow into a beautiful woman dedicated to her friends and this village. I have seen you go from a distracted child to a strong and immensely gifted kunoichi. I don't think there is anything you can't do." Sakura was having a slight bit of trouble breathing at his words. "I very dearly underestimated you as a child, you had more potential than Naruto and Sasuke put together because you are strong and smart with the perfect sense of justice. You are also very aware of your limitations and err on the side of caution in order to protect those around you. And how many others do you see working so studiously under the Hokage herself. You have determination and heart and a nack at healing and compassion. Sakura you are amazing. I am so proud of who you have become." Kakashi was staring at her intently waiting for some kind of reaction. Sakura simply blinked. To emotionally fried to fully comprehend what he had said. What it even meant.

Sakura stared at him blankly. His sigh ghosted over her face and he pulled her closer pressing his forehead to hers. Her eyes closed, really all she wanted to do was leave and process everything about her day. "Sakura, when you are ready to talk, I'll be waiting for you." He moved his face closer to hers and Sakura was sure that this was not real. There was not even the slightest glint in her mind that this was anything other than a delusion of her mind. There was no way Kakashi was kissing her. And yet her eyes closed in response.

She felt her body fall into his as her sorrow and confusion had finally made her weak in the knees, because it was defiantly not this imaginary Kakashi kissing her. Her arms found their way around him to hug her closer to his warm body. Kakashi didn't deepen the kiss or put anything into it other than the gentle press of lips. Sakura hadn't ever felt more at peace in her life with his addmission of feelings though the touch of thier lips. He pulled back and looked into her sad eyes. It was just one of the things she had feared.

Kakashi had stronger feelings for her than what was permitted. As a student and teacher they would never be allowed to openly be in a relationship. Rumors would spread of seduction, from either the lecherous teacher or the slutty student. And then Tsunade would surely have some words as to why it was a horrible idea and would probably force them apart. And then there was Naruto, he would surly find some way to make such a thing heinous and unnatural. Her eyes closed as she turned pulling away from him. It could never be. And Sakura would only hurt herself more at pretending for even a moment more that this was in any way _real_.

She turned from him for the final time that day and trudged back the way she had entered the grounds. Sakura had made her way home and flopped down on her bed and stared at the team photo on her night side table. Why did team seven have to be made up of some amazing ninja, yet still be so… dysfunctional?

* * *

I certainly hope I did okay. Thanks for reading.


End file.
